By Jayson Jarmon, CEO, Lux Worldwide
I have not yet sought one out, and am steadfast in my resolve not to do so until after I have posted this blog, but I'll bet there are several credible and entertaining Tech-Speak dictionaries out there on the Internet. You'll know if there are without even having to bust open Google if the expression "Tech-Speak dictionaries" in that last sentence is a nice blue hyperlink, (thanks to the link editors who connect my babblings to other content on the Internet). Well, that was nicely post-modern.
So, here are some fun terms you can drop into your next conversation about the Internet that will impress your friends and fill your competitors with envy.
Sand Hill Road: "Sand Hill Road" is an expression tech businessmen use the way stockbrokers use the word "Wall Street" or thespians use the word "Broadway." The actual Sand Hill Road in Menlo Park in Silicon Valley boasts an unusually high number of venture capital and private investment companies. So, if you've been spending a lot of time on Sand Hill Road, that means you've been actively trying to find financial backing for your high tech company out there in the VC and investment world, as in: CEO Fred Wickett hasn't been watching the bottom line lately; he's been spending too much time on Sand Hill Road on his hands and knees and not enough time in the finance office.
Bells, whistles, *and* gongs: I just heard this one the other day ... meant to suggest that a software developer has gone two steps too far to far in adding gratuitous features to a piece of software. Meant to be spoken quite sarcastically with emphasis on the word "and."
Drool proofing, or Drool-Proof Paper: Okay, this is one from my days in user documentation. This refers to docs that are written at such a low level that they are unbearable to read for anyone with more than a fourth-grade education, as in: The Product Manager says this one is aimed at bloggers so we better break out the drool-proof paper.
Sagan: Referring of course to the late Nova host/populist scientist Carl Sagan, and meaning any enormous number of anything (Carl of course famously saying "Billions and billions" of stars, etc). For example: They must pay that Jarmon guy a Sagan to write those rockin' blogs.
Salt Mines: Dense clustering of software developers in lightless, airless rooms, pounding away on code like Ivan Denisovich in a Siberian labor camp, as in: Me and 14 of my best buddies have been down in the salt mines adding drool-proof bells whistles, AND gongs to the program while Fred Wickett has been sniffing around for Sagans on Sand Hill Road.
